How to Be Adored

1.       Open your home to a weary hungry soul who’s only known 9-months of life on the end of a chain

2.       Sit still with this scared soul as he learns his new surroundings, learning who’s alpha and who his protector is

3.       Let him teach you to laugh during some rough times when others aren’t around 

4.       Allow lizard swift tongue swipes to target your face with a just-as-quick denial shunning your glance

5.       Spend hundreds of dollars you can’t afford to trying to stop his terrifying epileptic seizures

6.       Clean up his messes of the worst seizures and remind him it’s not his fault; he shouldn’t feel ashamed

7.       Treat him just like the other dogs.  Only a little more special because they know he’s different, too; even the puppies alpha him

8.       Take him to agility lessons to help him focus and to come when he’s called.  Try not to take it personally when he doesn’t

9.       Hold the end of the leash as he takes you for walks

10.   Make exceptions for the “no dogs on the couch” rule, just for him

11.   Worry frantically when he wanders off during a leashless hike and isn’t back by dark.  Despite temptations, don’t punish him when he wanders back all happy and stuff

12.   Keep scratching when he pulls his collapse-a-dog routine at the slightest touch

13.   Know that he really means well when he licks incessantly at all exposed human skin

14.   Try not to yell when you catch him attempting to make off with the Thanksgiving turkey from the counter top

15.   Let him win every race up the stairs; as if you could beat him taking four at a time

16.   Watch for his fuzzy black feet underneath yours.  If you’ve followed all the instructions so far, he’ll always be there

17.   Scratch his fuzzbutt buttchops.  He really likes it

18.   If he turns into a letter C of delight every time you come home, you’re doing it right

19.   Take him to the vet one last time to release him from his struggles although you’ll want to run out the door with him on the leash

20.   Hang his last black collar in your closet (the one with the tinkling name and rabies tags meant to speak for him if he ever needed to get back home).  When you hear that sound you’ll remember how you were adored